The Beginning of The End

“Probably everything in my life comes back to a feeling of abandonment, and this city never abandons you.” 

What I have learned from moving to New York is that certain people come and go in your life, fast. I truly believe that individuals come in for a purpose. They leave once that purpose is fulfilled and theres no turning back.  Whats the point of holding onto people who do not benefit your being or empower you? Whats life with a dull mind? There's no point. Life is so short to forgive and to hold on to people who do not make you feel like your fullest.

Throughout my entire life, I have been disappointed by many people. I didn't write this entry to be bitter or negative, but from those past experiences, it has made me a stronger being. I have built this wall so high around myself, that I force myself to block certain people and events out. That may not be the healthiest option, but for me, it works. 

On a lighter note, I am so very proud of myself for being accepted into the Columbia University School of Social Work clinical MSW program. Although, I am not planning on attending, it's still a big accomplishment for myself. I never tried in high school, I had an extreme case of "senior-itis", very much like I currently do, but now I have found a purpose for my education. I have put all of my effort into these last couple of years while obtaining my B.A and its finally showed off. I remember being called a loser for my studying habits, the person who called me that dropped out of college and is now working in retail.  I am entirely grateful for my parents, who instilled the importance of education, and who never let me take that gap year I used to talk about as a child.

Alone time is healthy, even in a city filled with nearly 9 million people. There is always something to do to distract your mind. My favorite thing is walking in Central Park (when the weather permits me), or just riding the subway with no real destination. At home, I used to lock myself in my basement and listen to music and paint.

You do not need others to define your being, nor should others become your medicine to happiness. Only you hold that value and can find that medium.